You were the girl I picked up in whiteladies road wearing that revealing turqoise miniskirt with the drunken smile and only one shoe. I helped you get into a taxi to my house and then on the friday I woke up and found that you had broke free from the wardrobe. I am not angry that you destroyed my plasma screen tv and hifi, I just want to know what happened to the trousers I had tied around your legs. They were expensive and I was planning on wearing them when seeing my in-laws today.

I am not angry about the things you wrote on my wall either, or what you did to my wife's porcelain collection, I just want my trousers back. I swear i did not put anything in your drink and then follow you and your stupid friends around the rest of thursday evening. It was a chance encounter that went wrong. Terribly wrong.

Will you be in the same bar next week? Maybe we can talk?

Contact details

• Email: Click here to reply to this ad

Anti spam: Do NOT contact me offering services or anything of a commercial nature.